Thursday, July 28, 2005

Don't take it seriously!

Roughly this was what happened to me many years ago.
She: 'You know smoking is bad for your health right?'
Me flustered and red faced: 'Yeah I heard about it somewhere!'
She: 'And still you smoke'
Me looking for a place to hide: 'Yeah I know, I'm pretty sad am I not?'
She walks away with a condescending air.

Whenever I think about this incident I am deeply flustered and have to go for a cigarette to soothe myself. This incident has left me deeply scarred. It felt like the pants and the pussy were not where you would expect them to be in a normal boy facing girl situation. I replay this incident in my mind over and over again. I particularly like this imaginary retort my dim-wit self apparently comes up with!
Me: 'You know we are all going to die one day right?'
She taken aback but her supreme confidence allowing her to collect herself: 'But that doesn't mean we kill ourself a cigarette at a time while waiting for the axe to finally fall!'
Me: 'No, I won't keep you waiting that long sweetheart!' and saying so I whip out my remington magnum 55, point at her head, and laugh like a maniac while she stares at me with terror stricken eyes as I bitch slap her.
If the perfection of the crime is judged by the amount of relief it provides the offender, this should be the perfect crime. There is just one minor flaw. I don't know much about guns. Is there something like a remington magnum 55?



Blogger vijaydinanathchauhan said...

you know it used to be cool but now if you smoke you have issues - self esteem or oedipal or stuff. thats what i found out yesterday and had a smoke only after i went back home :-(

8:45 PM  
Blogger i-me-moi said...

it's easy to quit. i am dangerously close to it. cut down one ciggie a week for a month. 6 weeks down, i am down to 1.5 - 2 a day from 10 odd. :-)

unless you don't want to, of course. or unless you wann quit cold turkey.

1:07 PM  

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